New to this Group, but tired of dealing with really bad skin

Hi, I am looking for an online support group as I deal with severe acne. I went off my acne treatment that I have used my entire life not thinking of what could happen. Then went to the doctor and they gave me medicines and everything was getting really bad, Cystic acne covering every inch of my face. I became severely depressed, OCD, and tons of anxiety. My acne is still covering every inch and the breakouts come still, but they are not as large as they used to be, but I am still very upset about how I look. I feel horrible about myself. I feel like I can't truly live life until I gain my clear skin back. I also have spent five months switching products, because of fear that it will only make it worse. All the doctors want me on that powerful drug, but I don't have the strength to do so. I am so fearful and I really need to make a decision to stay on something. I decided to go back on what was working in the past, but my skin is really in pain from it. My only option would be to stick to retin-a even though retin a is what caused me to breakout crazy, but I am currently on antibotics. I also have severe scarring and I feel like it is impossible to ever gain healthy skin again after I ruined it by switching every week different chemicals. Thank you for listening. Any advice? How do I cope and live life when I know others stare at me and I am afraid my acne will come back strong again?